Remembering Dana

Now that things have slowed down, I've had time to process the tragedy of Dana's closing - & I'm mourning. Every time I think of the night we found out and the following weeks, my stomach lurches, my throat closes up, and my eyes burn. I weep (weep!) at the tiniest thought of it. I was really good at pushing it down while I needed to in order to get through the few months following, but now I'm feeling it all. And you know what? It feels good to feel, even if it sucks - which it does - but I'm finding joy in finally being able to feel it. Get it out. Air it out. Cry it out. Remember.

When it closed, we were fortunate in quickly securing jobs at Midland, and I became busy with trying to find homes for incoming Dana freshmen, and displaced Dana upperclassmen alike. Add to that moving, selling an art collection, trying to plan the logistics of a 9-month trip (and trying to see everyone before that trip), and I pretty much had just enough time to figure out what to wear for the day. I went into survival mode: working hard, taking care of people, and putting my grief on the back burner until I was in a place I could breathe and think and cry. And here I am, in Argentina, with nothing but time and quiet where I can take my grief off the stove, make some tea with it, steep in it for a while, add some sugar (because that's the only way I'll drink it), and then sip it til it's gone.

God saw us through all of it, and we're grateful. I know that He has perfect plans. Plans to prosper us. Plans to give us a hope and a future. He will even work evil for good. He promised me, and I know He's faithful to answer. And I know that there is a time for mourning. I trust God's sovereignty in all of it - but it still hurts. Dana was so much to me.


Today I remembered just what it is to me, and how it helped to shape who I am...

 

It was where I really grew into myself and experienced the world | It was where I met this really cute, tall, blond guy and fell in love with him | It was where I danced my heart out for our Viking teams | It was where I learned how to paint on Friday mornings with my friends while listening to music and eating donuts that Dr. H bought us because, darn-it, that was his tradition | It was where I learned just how valuable a home-cooked meal, care-package, quarters for laundry, and mom in the stands watching my dance was | It was where Jeni and I skipped class on a snowy day in favor of hiding in her dorm room, keeping cozy, drinking hot chocolate, and watching a Harry Potter movie | It was also where Jeni and I skipped (in the middle of) Photography class in favor of a trip to Starbucks | It was where I got involved with Crusade and deepened my faith | It was where I learned that I have a super-awesome short-term memory - very convenient for exams

 

 It was where me and my first room mate learned that living in an ancient building (Argo) would always produce cold drafts, noisy pipes, and creaky floors - and we loved it anyway - and hey! who can argue with walk-in closets?| It was where I worked for maintenance two summers in a row - painting buildings with friends, moving furniture, mowing, weeding, getting poison ivy... | (speaking of poison ivy) It was where JD and I celebrated our wedding reception with loved ones | It was where I learned to always be buddies with The Cook in the cafeteria | It was where I fell asleep in Art History class my first semester; dark + warm + just finished lunch = nap time | It was where I played my first games of mud volleyball, ultimate Frisbee, and pickle-ball | It was where I learned that a hat, a delivered pizza, and friends can make the best of a bad haircut | It was where I learned that you can do almost anything in flip-flops | It was a place I knew everyone - maintenance crew, administration, students, and staff | It was where I finished paintings and studio projects at 4 a.m.

 

It was where I met some of my best friends | It was where I learned about the magic of a snowy Sights & Sounds of Christmas event, complete with garland everywhere, Smorgasbord, pine tree smell in the Campus Center, and danish handcrafts | It was where I started (and ended) an art club with a best friend | It was where I was inspired and encouraged by professors - Lyden, Heinrich, Olson, Brewer, Diana, and many more | It was where I learned that No Frills is open 24 hours | It was where I learned how to throw a decent pot next to a K-Rock-lovin', coffee-&-cigarette-in-the-morning, grizzly, professional artist of a professor | It was where I learned my limits on just how many activities I can be involved in without going into hysterics | It was where I got my golf swing back - thanks Coach Kuhl | It was where I got excited about letters, candy, and that little slip that said "package" in my mailbox | It was where I learned to dodge the shower head when I heard a flush | It was where I learned that if I wanted to pass an Olson or Brewer exam/quiz I actually had to read the book | It was where I gave tours to hundreds of students and their families - and learned how to walk backwards | It was where I learned how to play the guitar and lead people in worship | It was where I failed my first ever college exam and then balled my eyes out (Senior Year - Tammy Clark's Physical Science class - Subject: velocity or something...I was an art major people, the left-half of my brain is to fill the left-half of my head)

 It was where I graduated | It was where I learned how to be a better artist, a better dancer, a better student, a better leader, a better follower, a better friend, & a better wife | It was where I got my first (best!) job, and even better, I got to tell everyone else about how awesome it was and why they should come and be a Viking | It was where I built relationships with co-workers and recruits | It was where I facebooked and called thousands of students, answering every question they had, inviting them to visit campus, or reminding them to send in their paperwork - sometimes (most times) feeling like mom no. 2 | It was where I saw moms of recruits become "Viking Mom, No. 1 Fan!" | It was where I saw hundreds of incoming and returning students excited for another year on the hill | 

In short, it was home.

Dana, it was a privilege to call you home for 6 years of my life, and to be with you until the end. I know my college experience was what I made it, but you had a magic of your own that made it so much more. We joked sometimes about "the Dana Difference," but you really were different, and in the best way. You were a place where people cared. Thanks for everything. I miss you,

-heather